Do you expect to be served a vegetarian meal when you are at a friend’s home?

18 Responses to “Do you expect to be served a vegetarian meal when you are at a friend’s home?”

1. Comment by Dr. House says…

   Why would a friend invite me over for a meal, and choose to serve something they know I don’t eat? I’m a vegan, and my friends are more than happy to prepare a vegan meal for everyone if I’m visiting.

   Buying and preparing dead animal flesh requires vegetarians to violate their own ethical principles and contribute to industries they find morally abominable.

   Can the same be said for an omnivore serving a meatless meal?

   Thought not. The two are not remotely analogous.

2. Comment by Lisa

   Yes if they knew you were a vegetarian/vegan.
   I would never eat say the veggies off a plate that a steak (for example) was on. Or cooked with.I would prefer to go without dinner that night.

3. Comment by toshibou~

   I would assume something vegetarian will be available, as most of my friends know I’m a vegetarian and wouldn’t want me to just go without eating. If it’s that much of an inconvenience for them, I can eat before I go to their house.
   And also, I do accomodate for omnivores who come over, considering neither of my parents are vegetarians there’s always meat available if they want it. If I lived alone, hell no I wouldn’t prepare meat myself. I’d probably just make spaghetti, which most people like regardless of having meat or not.

4. Comment by Joey

   I am a vegan, and no I never expect to be served an alternative. I will often bring a dish to share, so I know I’ll at least have something to eat and I can show others how delicious vegan food can be. If I can’t bring a dish, there is usually a salad at the very least for me to eat and I will keep an energy bar in my pocketbook in case I get hungry and there isn’t enough. I won’t serve meat at my house because it is a moral issue for me. Serving a vegan dish is not a moral issue for a meat eater, so the situations aren’t equivalent. I don’t know any vegetarians or vegans that expect to be served anything when they are a guest. Most have learned how to deal with those situations with finesse.

5. Comment by exsft

   I am not a vegetarian so I don’t have that “problem” but I host a lot of parties for both “kinds”. I look at it this way: would I serve a sugary dessert to a guest with diabetes or a dairy product to someone with lactose intolerance? If I invite someone for dinner and I know they are vegan/vegetarian, they have every right to expect to be served a meal that is suitable for their dietary choice. Otherwise, it would be an insult if I don’t. And I would not have them go to the trouble and dilemma of just eating around the meat anymore than I would ask a Muslim guest to just eat around the pork.

   On the other hand, I can eat a vegetarian meal without any fuss. and if I am still hungry after, I can just eat again somewhere. And honestly, I’ve been to omni dinners where the main course was so bad, I pretended to be a bit full and ended up just eating a very “vegetarian” salad and dessert.

   In the restaurant, it’s a different matter. While we are “vegetarian friendly” we are not “vegan friendly”. (some of the dishes are vegan but for legal purposes, we don’t make any such claims). A customer can make a menu alteration if practical. They can politely ask the server to include this or exclude that. What they cannot do is rudely demand that they be served something we don’t have. If they do, they are asked to leave asap. And that goes for any customer, vegetarian, vegan or not.

6. Comment by Lexiloser

   Well all my friends know, so that usuaally isn’t a problem, but if they forget its fine and I just won’t eat the meat part.

   And it isn’t really unfair, because unless they had a moral objection to not eating meat at every meal, there is no real reason for them to be annoyed at them? And I’n the only vego in my family so usually my mum just cooks them something meat anyway.

7. Comment by *PiScEs*

   that’s like saying when a vegetarian/vegan goes over an omni’s house
   the omni expects to be served meat. which is not fair and hypocritical as well
   besides its that persons house and your under their roof and NOBODY can EXPECT
   people to cater to their every whim
   also if they really were your friend they would be understanding, no?

8. Comment by wickerwoman

   I don’t think that this is hypocritical. Omnivores eat both vegetarian food and non-vegetarian (hence the name ‘omnivore’) whereas vegetarians don’t eat both food types. Hence they don’t prepare it, buy it, etc. By a vegetarian preparing vegetarian food, they still accomodate for an omnivore anyway, but the reverse isn’t true.

9. Comment by ~look at meeeeeeeeeee

   i never expect it
   the rest of my family are omnivors so im used to either not eating it or cooking my self
   well my friend didnt know i was veggie untill the last time i saw her so

10. Comment by Harry > Edward

    Here’s the thing: I try to inform my host ahead of time that I’m a vegetarian. If they ask me for ideas, I can always promise to bring something myself to make their lives easier. I wouldn’t provide meat at my house for an omnivore because they can eat vegetarian foods, but we can’t eat their omnivore foods.

11. Comment by an on

    if you invite a vegetarian to dinner u better have a vegetarian dinner. does that shock you? would you invite 10 jews over for dinner and serve ham?
    its called HOS-PO-TAL-I-TY

    In the contemporary West, hospitality is rarely a matter of protection and survival, and is more associated with etiquette and entertainment. However, it still involves showing respect for one’s guests, providing for their needs, and treating them as equals

12. Comment by william

    When meat eating friends come to my house, I serve vegetarian meals… when I go to their house, I eat their veggies, but not the meat or sometimes, I bring myown food, in case they have no veggies.

13. Comment by Abel H

    If you are having some vegans over for dinner it would be rude to make only omni foods. Just like if you had some Jews Muslims and true Christians over for dinner and made pork dishes when their religion and ethics forbid such a thing. I have had Omni’s over for dinner and pulled out my bbq grill and made various beef related dishes because I knew they probably wouldn’t like the Veggie alternative. Its called being a good host.

14. Comment by Emily

    Would you go to a Muslim’s home and expect them to cook pork for you, just because it is a food that YOU love to eat? No… they have a religious opposition to eating pork, and it would be incredibly rude of you to either prepare pork for them, or expect them to prepare it for you.

    You, on the other hand, have no moral opposition to eating vegetables.

    If I am invited to dinner at an omnivore’s home: I will offer to bring a dish, if the hostess would appreciate that. If they do not wish me to bring one, a good hostess does her research and makes an effort to include dishes that allow all guests to eat and leave full and satisfied.

    If I am the hostess to an omnivore: I will make a variety of dishes. If the guest’s palate is more to the side of “traditional meat-based” items, I will make a vegan version of them that I am sure will go over well with everyone. If they are more adventurous eaters, I will make some more obviously vegan items with varying flavors, etc. And I always include a fabulous dessert (vegan chocolate mousse always goes over well).

15. Comment by Dna Denizen

    I was about to write out a long thoughtful response, but then I read the additional details and realized that you’re not really looking for an answer, you’re looking for a reason to belittle us.

    For many people vegetarianism (in my case veganism), is just as much about their sense of ethics than anything else, and you seem to think it’s all about taste buds.

    I’m not sure why you think vegans should cater to omnivores at the vegans house….what is vegan food not “real” food? If you really NEED meat for every meal then there’s a bigger problem under the surface.

16. Comment by lo_mcg

    Yes, if I am invited to a friend’s home to eat I expect to be served a vegan meal. Maybe I’m just lucky in the friends I have, but none of them would be so crass as to invite a veg*n to dinner and serve a meat meal, expecting the veg*n guest just to eat the veg. Any more than they’d invite a Muslim or Jew to dinner and serve roast pork, expecting the guest to just eat the veg.

    Here’s how it goes:

    If a meat-eater with any sensitivity or just plain good manners invites a vegan or vegetarian to their home with the express purpose of sharing a meal with them, they provide a meal which their vegetarian or vegan guest will be able to eat – that is, a vegetarian or vegan meal. Thank you, we appreciate it.

    If a meat-eater with any sensitivity or just plain old good manners is invited to the home of a vegetarian or vegan for a meal, they will realise that it is most unlikely that their host will be providing meat and, as they are not carnivorous – that is living on a diet exclusively of meat – there will be nothing served at the meal which they cannot eat.

    If there is a meat-eater too set in his/her ways or too unadventurous to be prepared to go without meat for one meal, then I assume they would politely decline the invitation to eat at a vegetarian’s home.

17. Comment by Ms. Skeptic

    I’ve never had a friend over without having a few things out to eat and I’ve never gone to their place without bringing along a dish myself.

    It’s never been an issue because my friends and I just want to be together and we don’t let the little things get in the way.

    Being a vegan/vegetarian doesn’t imply that you’re a prima donna but if you can’t live with eating a vegetarian meal at your vegetarian friend’s house, well that’d just make you one big party pooper.

18. Comment by wiccagirl24

    I don’t know about you, but my friends respect me and my choices, and are glad to have a vegetarian meal. In fact sometimes the whole meal for everyone is vegetarian. Are you saying you don’t have a single recipe that doesn’t involve meat? If not that’s a terribly limiting repertoire you have.

    Accommodate? How is it wrong to serve my guests delicious food that just so happens not to involve meat? My company always compliments my dinners. They’re delicious and filling. Often they’re multiple courses, and the most frequent complaint I get is that my friends are too full because they ate too much.

    If you think your friends are inconsiderate for wanting food they can eat at a meal and are unfair for not serving you food that’s against their ethical standards then I don’t know why you’re friends with the person in the first place. Friendship should imply mutual respect.